twenty-nine days.

i have been home, in texas, for twenty-nine days. as long as that may sound, it has flown by. it has been such a wonderful time home... its hard for me to say that im not excited or ready to be back in new york. don't get me wrong. i love new york (how cliche does that sound?) and i love my friends there. and the experience and opportunity i have there. i love everything about it except for one thing... its not san antonio, and its not home. i am so incredibly blessed to have such an amazing family and home here in texas. i never want to leave it. its never easy. and i dont think it ever will be easy to leave. even when i was at tcu - i cried every time i drove out of my driveway and headed to fort worth. of course, the second i exited 'berry st' and made my way towards campus, my spirits lifted and i was then excited to be back. same goes for now. its so hard to leave home for me. i know i'll be excited once i get back in the swing of things. but right now its just hard.

i know that i will be back in texas one day. and i knwo it will be sooner rather than later. and that even though i am having a blast in new york... i know that i am there for myself and my career and to help me get a kick-start on the rest of my life. i am so lucky to have this opportunity and i want to make the best of it. but i know that my heart belongs in texas. and i dont care what anyone else thinks. i know that some of my friends in ny are set.... and see themselves being there forever. and i think thats awesome for them. but its not for me.

well i am finishing up packing. i need to get some sleep. i just wanted to say that this has been a really great time. and it hurts my heart to have to leave. but i know its for the best, and its for the best for me and for everything i want to do in my future. alright. im out.